Secrets of Wealth Creation Revealed

Caviar meals. Nights watching the sunset. Walking off any job at any time with no regrets. How do the wealthy do it?

The wealthy are wealthy because they have more money than you do. If everyone did what they did, then nobody would be wealth because wealthy is only exists as a concept when there are poor people. However, if everyone _knew_ what wealthy people knew, there would still be a shit load of poor people because there are so many people in the world who are lazy and stupid.

You’ll here, “that’s easy for you” or “I’m not living like a poor person” or some other nonsense.

If you don’t want to be a poor dumbass for life read further. If you are too legit to quit, then quit reading.

1. Don’t have kids. In fact, don’t even have heterosexual sex. It’s too complicated. Wealth adds slowly and divides quickly. The more children you have the more you’ll have to spend unless you sell them into slavery or keep them chained to the basement and feed them scraps.

Women: Keep your legs closed and stay away from men.

Men: Don’t date. Don’t shower. Don’t shave. Don’t talk to women. They won’t talk to you.

Objection: “I always wanted to have a big family.”

Answer: You will be able to buy several big families when you are rich. By purchasing several families, you will have more families and children than anyone thus winning the having a big family game.

2. Don’t sign anything you don’t understand. This includes marriage contracts, student loans, credit card applications, etc. If you have papers you need to figure out hire a lawyer. If you can’t afford a lawyer, you totally can’t afford to sign that paper. Remember, there is no opportunity you are missing except a chance to get financially screwed. Don’t waste your time on legelese. It’s for suckers.

Objection: “But, but, but…”

Answer: Go ahead a sign it. When the balloon payment kicks in, the only ride you will take is to the poor house.

3. Don’t spend more than you earn. Each day, write down how much you earn. This is easy. Take your take home pay and divide through by the number of days in a pay period.

Example: I make $280 every two weeks at Pizza Hut. 280/(7 days/week * 2 weeks) = $20/ per day. Since my rent at my parent’s house is $5 per day, I have $15 to spend on beer and pizza.

Spend less than this and put it in the bank. When you have enough put it in atreasury bill if you live in the US. If you live elsewhere buy a safe investment there.

4. If people tell you to spend more money or laugh at you for your low rent lifestyle tell them, “Your mother is a whore. Go fuck yourself.” These two sentences usually solve every problem. However, if your boss is laughing at you, you may need to get a new job. See next.

5. Get a job. If you are too busy to work a job, you are too busy to have any money, loser.

The end. Note if you think there is a faster wayto be rich, there’s not. If someone says there is, they are lying.

“But other people, like Bill Gates, never did this.”

I know, but guess what? You are not Bill Gates. If you were, you wouldn’t waste your time reading this. He lumps all his reading into a few weeks rather than reading bullshit blog posts all day. He also has better business ideas than the both of us so let it go. You are not and will not be as rich as Bill Gates. Not even close. But you can still be rich to tell your manager at Pizza Hut to screw off in a few decades.

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2 Responses to “Secrets of Wealth Creation Revealed”

  1. Dana Hunter Says:

    This is the best wealth creation advice in the entire universe. Brilliant!

  2. John Jacob Says:

    This should be published as booklet and added along with What they don’t teach you in Havard/Standford business schools.

    I follow the same stuff, but i never shared it. Kudos for sharing.

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