Archive for the ‘Tullie Antipodes’ Category

Erie Needs to Stem the Tide or Forever Lose Its Title by Tullie Antipodes

July 16, 2008

I find it funny how Erie’s Population has declined at the rate of only one person a year for the last 7 years. Now jsut imagine if that pizza deliveryman wasn’t forced to blow himself up! Then Erie would have been bigger by a whole person! True, had he lived, he mgiht have simply moved away by now – but I kind of doubt it.

Apparently, however, the decline was still humiliating enough since the Mayor of Erie wants to take back the all-important title of Third Largest City in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania back from that all-mighty boomtown, Allentown. It’s like Philly vs. Phoenix all over again! Only we now know that Phoenix ended up winning and it seems that Allentown is charging ahead, at the impressive rate of 77 people a year. There’s no way Erie can catch up to that steam train!

After all, there’s a lot of prestige riding on being No. 3 in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. Just like people can always name New York, LA, and Chicago as the largest cities in the country, people used to typically say Philly-Pittsburgh-Erie all in one breath. Now its Philly-Pittsburgh-Allentown. It’s time for Erie to get equal billing again! Also, in the same way San Antonio looks like it might snatch the titel of 6th largest from Philly only 2 years after Phoenix took away the title of 5th, Erie can’t afford to have that upstart city of Reading, PA take away the title of 4th largest.

Erie should hire Billy Joel to write a song about it. After all, he did it for Allentown and that place has gone nowhere but up since the 80’s. Why does Allentown get all the benefit and not Erie??? Never mind that the song really described Bethlehem and not Allentown. Well, I guess they’re the same place…

Homeless “Problem” Solved Thanks to Philadelphia…Airport by Guest Blogger: Tullie Antipodes

February 22, 2008

 

 

Speaking, recently, of Philadelphia airport one traveler noted, “This is the only airport I’ve seen in the country — and, for that matter, almost anywhere in the world — that has homeless people wandering around.”

 

It really makes the airport seem really third world – that is except for the fact that third world airports don’t have homeless people wandering about either…

 

I don’t think having homeless at the airport gives the city a black eye. Rather, it is truth in advertising. Unlike Atlanta, where you have a gleaming huge airport for a shrunken head of a city, Philly airport is representative of the city. You’ve got your homeless, your urine smells, your shit stains, your poor service, your surly workers, your domineering unions, your corruption (Milton Street), your poor public transit (the only major airport that I know of with no free shuttle between terminals – let alone the lack of a free monorail or people mover), etc.

 

Come to think about it, there is no reason why the homeless wouldn’t be at the airport. After all, they’re everywhere in 30th Street Station (as any trip over there at 6AM would prove). The airport’s an even better location for them to hang out and its safer too since the bad guys would get deterred by the security. In fact, they ought to just have all the homeless in Center City moved to the airport. It would benefit all. They would have use of the facilities and an endless supply of bleeding heart limousine liberals from the suburbs and Midwest to give them money. There’s even a chapel on site and the religious types going to it will feel the need to do “God’s duty” and clothe, feed, and take care of them. It’ll also get them off the streets of Center City and out of the way. Sure, it’ll give travelers a bad first impression of Philly, but it’s better that they get hit by it sooner rather than later. Also, they’ll get a bad impression soon enough anyway from taking the R1 or the Schuylkill Expressway through the ghetto before reaching Center City.

 

In the words of Rendell, I see a “win win situation”.