Archive for December, 2013

The L Wine: Lineman’s Wine or Why My Wine Server Sucks

December 22, 2013

I was pressed into doing a review of the classy _looking_ Lineman’s Wine.

 

The reason that I’m so upset is because due to her incompetence in opening the wine _before_ asking for my expert advice, I’m forced to do this review out of order or with somewhat in complete data.

 

Thus, for all we know Lineman’s could be Five Gold Star Medal Winner 100 Years in a row. Or it could be purple swilll suitable only for winos.

 

Immediately, a giant 50+ written on the nozzle of the bottle. I have no idea what this means, but it seems to be a good thing especially as it’s such a large number next to a positive sounding plus sign. Under the +50 it says “Best Buy Best Value Awards.” Ah, an OK wine for cheapos. Great!

 

The other lable is also classy enough with its large “L” which gives us one of my title’s for this article. Also, it says “Bin 40” in cursive. More impressive gibberish. I guess 2012 was a good year for wine labels.

 

I sniffed the cork after the server rubbed it on her bare foot. (Don’t ask). The cork smells faintly of wine and even more faintly of old basement, a bit musty.

 

The actual scent of the bottle is of high grade church wine.

 

On first impression, it’s a bit too sweet and fruity for my taste, but the finish is that of a normal middle of the road wine.

 

A few more mouthfuls later, and yes, it’s actually a quite decent wine. Again, not dry enough for my taste, but if you like a sweeter Merlot, this is not the worst of the lot.

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Charles Shaw

December 2, 2013

What can I say about the label? Simple yet classyYet when I tried to get the cork out, it didn’t want to come. The cork screw seems to have gotten stuck! Now it’s pull out like a screw in drywall. What did Charles (or Charlie as I like to call him) use for cork material? Driftwood?

With the combind force of two admittedly out of shape people, we still couldn’t manage to get the damned thing out. What does Charlie want? Us to look at his bottle or to drink the stuff.

Finally, cooler heads prevailed and like a scene from The Cosby Show, the woman truly knew better and managed to get it out on her own. Yeah!

Honestly, I don’t know the point in sniffing the cork. They all smell the same. This one’s earthy and pungent and yet less sharp and the overall odor is much weaker than what I’m used to. Also, there’s a hint of mold or must. Not the most promising cork sniffing.

The bouquet is weak and can only remind me of church wine.

Yet when I drink it, by God it’s wine. Delicious wine. And at three dollars a bottle, this hits a very nice price point. Not the best wine at this insanely low price, but since it has nice name recognition, it’s a worthwhile buy at this price range.