Gigli

I’d like to start this post reminding people that THIS IS A COMEDY BLOG. The point of my postings is humor. I know that many people say nasty things then they run for cover by waving the comedy flag. I don’t do this. If I hate something, I have the brass ones big enough to say it. Alternatively, I’ll keep my pie hole shut and suck it up like I was told to. I’ll just simmer inside for a bit, do the mindfulness of being pissed off meditation and move on with my life.

I will not say hateful things then say, just kidding.

Why are many of my posts unfunny? I guess because I am not a professional comedian. I’m not even an amateur. It is just a little hobby I picked up along the way after seeing a funny Dmetri Martin sketch. I had a lot of things in common with him, and I wanted there to be one more thing in common. That’s it. I did stand up for a little bit and some comedy writing. Now I am comedy blogging.

I have found that there are many comedic styles from the silly word game style of Dave Berry to the observation style of Seinfeld to anger of Carlin to the saying nasty things about fellow Americans and hide behind patriotism and don’t really have any comedic premise style of Ann Coulter. All are unique, and I love them all save for the latter.

I am still finding my style. I don’t think I’ll ever succeed in saying anything that funny. I’m just not gifted like that. However, I do realize that when I try to hard to be funny, I’m not. I find when I just let my basic observations and yes anger flow, I am mildly funny for my wife and some of my friends.

Of course, this requires an object. Those who cling to these objects may or may not be offended. I think it depends upon how lightly you hold it. It also depends upon if you know me. I am not malicious. I am not trying to change the world. I am just trying to get a chuckle from other people’s expense. Just a little chuckle. I don’t go over to other people’s blogs to offend people, but if there’s something wrong, I may mock it a little. Like a fight over a crumb of bread, which I still think is funny, but people with the big hats and bigger words don’t get it.

I might not get the jokes on Buddhists. Actually, I think most of them are quite funny save for the really nasty ones from dumb shits. My friend wrote a song about their little fuzzy heads which I thought was funny.

However, that bitch who drove on the sidewalk and tried to take me out while I walked my bike near the car wash on Grey’s Ferry. That was not funny. I hope you rot in hell, which is odd because I thought hell was hot and should thus stop rotting by sterilizing.

Anyway, back to our regular programming. Good ol’ mockery.

Gigli worst movie ever?

I don’t even know why I saw this movie. I’d like to say I was dragged, but I can’t recall.

Let’s start with the title. It’s dumb. It’s also a punch line in the movie. Don’t get it? I didn’t either, but I think that’s the point. Since it’s so idiosyncratic, the title is actually a warning label. Gigli, if you don’t get the title, you won’t get the movie.

In most cases, one can’t avoid learning _something_ about a movie before they watch it, but besides the fact that Bennifer starred in this movie, and they were an item at the time, I did not know anything about this flick.

I don’t know when it was, I think several days later when I was struggling to scrub my neurons of any vestige of this movie when I realized that this movie was supposed to be a comedy. It hadn’t dawned on me earlier. I have seen a lot of unfunny comedies, but I have never seen one where I didn’t even realize that it was _supposed_ to be funny.

The movie was un-everything that makes a movie good from the start. It started out with a threat, but I think that was supposed to be a joke. I recall thinking, “This a little funny.” More and more stuff happened that didn’t make much sense until they were mistreating a boy who was developmentally delayed. At this point, I wanted to walk out. I don’t remember even being tempted to walk out of a movie.

When I thought it couldn’t get any worse, it turns out that Jay Lo is a lesbian. She does this monologue on why she’s gay while doing yoga. Through the magic of film, they manage to take a hot woman, a hot idea, and a hot exercise, and make it dull.

Of course, there’s the whole male, convert a lesbian fantasy that does not happen in real life. I was thinking, I hope that they don’t do that. Of course, they did.

Many famous people did cameos in this movie and each one was the worst scene in their entire career.

The only thing that I got out of this movie was the book _Being Peace_ by Thich Nhat Hanh. I think that they realized that they needed to flesh out Jay Lo’s character to make her more spiritual so they got an intern to grab a random book from a New Age bookshelf. I picked up the book because I remembered it from the movie thinking it would be funny, but it was actually quite good.

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