Turkey City Subway

It is popular for bloggers to bitch about their subway rides. I didn’t think I had much to add to this. After all, you can only read so much about loud, smelly, pushy people. One thing I have to say, though is, “We’re all getting on the train.” So calm the hell down. I don’t know why, but I have an especial hatred of midgets who somehow sneak in front of me. I don’t know why since I usually try to be the last one on the train. I am an adult so I can stand, and I hate competition.

I only ride the train when it pours rain. I usually bike. At times, I do like to ride the train because it gives me a sense of moral superiority not unlike biking which also makes me feel better than ever other careless asshole in their Planet Wreckers rolling past me. On the train what makes me feel good is that I’m the only person smiling. It’s so strange to be the only visibly happy person. In fact walking the streets of Philly, I usually am also the only smiler. I know that women often do not smile because if a man catches them smiling he will think that it’s because she wants them. But there is no excuse for men not to smile.

Some of my smiling came from the fact that my job is perfect as I stated previously. The other reason for smiling is the retarded billboard ads. Like the one for a business school. It shows an over the hill man beating a crestfallen young college student. It claims that getting an MBA will help you win video games against those younger than you. Sounds like a midlife waste of time to me. Why not just promise that you’ll get respect or make more money. Playing video games just looks like a loser thing to do unless it’s GTA IV, of course.

Besides, everyone knows that someone middle aged won’t even be able to figure out a video game from the last decade. He’d bore the kid to death with stories of high scores from Ms. Pacman.

These two losers on the “MBA makes you a video game winner” billboard sat next to a Turkey Hill Ice Cream Ad. Who the hell names a hill after poultry? Worse, who has a bird in the name of an ice cream? I can imagine picking bones and feathers out of my dish.

The only real reason I can see for these stupidities inflicted on “The Public” is to bring a smile. Too bad it is a mostly wasted effort.


One Response to “Turkey City Subway”

  1. Melissa Mattilio Says:

    You aren’t the first person to wonder why we would call a Dairy “Turkey Hill”. Mostly it’s just because of history. The Indians that lived in this area in the 1600s found the hill to be plentiful with turkeys and first assigned the name.

    In the original 1768 deed for the property, the physical description of chestnut trees to streams ends with “and commonly known as Turkey Hill”.

    So when the family started selling milk in the 1930’s, it seemed normal to call it Turkey Hill Dairy.

    Through the years, lots of people have responded like you. But many overcome their original reactions and give out ice cream a try.

    And you got to admit – it is memorable!

    I’m glad we at least brought a bit of humor to your train ride.

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