Advice for the Young (And Old)

I spent most of my life recovering from bad advice that adults had given me. The first step in the process was purging my brain of everything I had ever learned. The first step was punk rock rebellion. The second was lots of beer and unemployment. Rage felt really good, but then I needed to forget about THAT. So I meditated and tried to forgive and forget about all the reasons I got angry in the first place. I didn’t _repress_ for God’s sake. I get all pissed off about all this bad advice for years then I finally calm down and people worry about repressing. Look! I’m not repressing all ready. I’m just forgiving and forgetting. Mostly.

Now I have realized that the best advice to give young people: “Don’t give advice to young people. If people do give you advice, don’t take it. Just do what you want.” And don’t take this advice. In fact, don’t take it at all, just forget that I said anything. In fact, just stop reading this post.

Now you might think that this type of thinking might lead everyone to be bums and druggies. But there are a lot of bums and druggies out there who’s heads were loaded up with great advice from their elders who, “didn’t want my kids to repeat the same mistakes I made.” So they fucked up their kids heads, and they are repeating different mistakes.

Also, you have to think about all these geniuses who are giving all this great advice. Who are they?

For one thing, unless they are Amish or Aboriginees, they are not living in a sustainable fashion. That means they are living in such a way so that eventually someone is going to get the bill. Usually that means someone younger than themselves. It’s like grandparents racking up a bill at a resturant on credit. They pass that bill onto their children who pass it onto their children. So there’s a little baby sitting in a high chair who’s going to
inherit a stinking mess and a giant bill.

These are not the kind of people who’s advice I’d trust. They fucked up the planet now they want to give us advice. Give me a break.

Also, unless their names are Guatma, they are not enlightened. So in this case, it’s the asleep leading the asleep. Let’s face it, we’re all equally idiotic here. Sleeping a few more years longer than other people doesn’t make you an expert on the true nature of reality. It leads to shitty advice.

Really, think about what would happen if someone gave you advice. What would you do? You’d compare it to what you all ready knew. If it was similar to stuff you knew, you’d consider it to be wise. If it was different, you’d think that this person was a nutcase. Therefore, if you can take a time machine and give yourself some good advice you’d most likely reject it because it would be too radical for you to understand.

Think about it, are you going around the world looking for other people to give you advice? Or are you just sitting there doling out advice to other people? If you said the latter then you are just like everyone else. Everyone is sitting around giving each other shitty advice.

Therefore, you’re probably going to ignore the advice, “don’t give people advice.”

In my mind, this is a good thing. Because it’s probably shitty advice. I’m going to shut up now and go outside. I’m going to open my ears really wide and see if I can hear something that’s completely insane. Them I’m going to think about it for a long time to see that if somehow perhaps in an alternate universe it is the most amazingly intelligent thing I have ever heard.

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